Tag: cars

I really hope this doesn’t happen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: A bill that states that foreigners who have drivers licenses from countries that have “similar” driving laws as the United States would NOT be required to test for a Georgia drivers license, is gaining momentum and could feasibly pass.

This is not me being racist, this is not me channeling some inner right-wing demon that I didn’t know I had. This is about the fact that it’s basically scientifically proven that 90% of the Earth’s population, regardless of race, is incapable of competently operating a motor vehicle. The risks exponentially increase when those from other countries that drive on the wrong side of the road, drive in Sub-Zero’s outfit, or simply drive as if they were driving in their native lands try and mix into the already nightmare-ish driving conditions of Georgia. To legally accommodate making these circumstances even easier is the city begging for more chaos.

Continue reading “I really hope this doesn’t happen” →

Just doesn’t really seem right

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was driving to work, and I saw this car at a stoplight.  It was a Honda Element, and on the back window were two stickers.  Dead red center was a big, gaudy Harley-Davidson sticker, and in a far less flamboyant section of the window, tucked away in the bottom left, was an Apple sticker.

I don’t really know what I’m getting at, but this odd mish-mash of identities all conglomerated onto a single vehicle fascinated me to where it sparked me to actually write about it.  When looking at everything as a whole, I sing the lines “one of these is NOT like the others,” and it leads me to making illogical assumptions about the person behind the wheel.

Continue reading “Just doesn’t really seem right” →

About as big of a surprise as Clay Aiken revealing he’s gay

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know I dog on the Chinese a lot, but to some degree I can’t help it because I’m Korean, and all us Chinks rag on each other all the time.  Not that it’s really anything that’s really acceptable in the first place, so let’s chalk this up on animosity towards the Taiwanese baseball team for trying to cheat by illegally scouting the Korean team.  All the same.  Now it’s war, motherfuckers.

Anyway, there was recently a story about how the Fung Wah bus company, which provides dirt cheap bus service between the New York City and Boston Chinatowns, facing scrutiny under allegations that 75% of their buses are under code and fail all sorts of safety standards.  Cracked frames, busted steering columns, not to mention Chinese drivers who don’t speak a lick of English, and probably are illegals to begin with, but apparently it’s just now that Fung Wah is facing some scrunity, after almost a decade of debacles.

Continue reading “About as big of a surprise as Clay Aiken revealing he’s gay” →

Why do so many people in the hood drive like this?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Just about everyone has probably seen it.  Yet ironically, no appropriate images of it as an example really exist anywhere on the internet that I can find.  The above image is the closest thing I can find that comes remotely near representing it.  But not a day goes by where I don’t see someone driving their car in this seemingly pose that I’m wagering that anyone who looks around would also see on a very regular basis.

The pose is almost always a male; right hand at the 10 o’clock position on the steering wheel.  Their left arm is resting on either their left thigh or the arm rest of the driver’s side door, elbow bent, with their hand floating inches from their nose/mouth, but not actually touching it.  Fingers are curled.  And almost always, the seat is reclined back beyond a typical angle, and it almost looks like the only thing keeping the driver upright is the fact that their right arm is gripping the steering wheel at an unorthodox angle.

If you can visualize this description, this is where it sinks in that you may or may not have noticed seeing people driving like this before, or like me, regularly.

Continue reading “Why do so many people in the hood drive like this?” →

The most obvious of “I give up on life” cars

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s funny whenever I think about cars that belong in the I give up on life category, Saturns never really crossed my mind.  But in a way, it’s fittingly appropriate in several ways; one, because Saturns are the most forgettable car manufacturer in history, and two, Saturn as a car company is dead, and has been dead for going on three years now.  Unfortunately, three years isn’t enough time to wipe them from existence as their turds on wheels are still being capably driven on roads across America as we speak.

Saturn was essentially a joint venture between General Motors and Rubbermaid (not actually true) that put out mediocre plastic (mostly) cars that were cheap to buy, cheaper to maintain, and supposedly cheap to repair when necessary (often, being a GM), in exchange for your dignity (factually accurate).  But after twenty years of sucking souls, Liu Kang and the automotive industry had enough of Saturn Tsung’s soul-sucking tendencies and putting an end to the Saturn brand, hopefully for good.

Continue reading “The most obvious of “I give up on life” cars” →

The importance of rear spoilers

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was sitting at a red light this morning, I saw this car pull into the left turn lane. “Nice blue color there, I didn’t know the Hyundai Accent came in that color,” I thought. And then my eyes noticed that it wasn’t wearing a Hyundai badge, but a Subaru badge. My eyebrows furrowed upon noticing this, and then I was thinking “what the hell car is this?” Upon scanning the rest of the vehicle, I saw the badge that I didn’t think was possible to be on such an unimpressive, mundane looking vehicle: WRX.

I’m aware that I’ve been talking about cars a lot lately, or at least making car-related analogies, but that’s how the brog works, I write about the things that trigger the impulse to write, and seeing this piece of shit this morning made me feel like writing about how pathetic and sad the Subaru Impreza WRX has become.

Continue reading “The importance of rear spoilers” →

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #004

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The first thought that crossed through my head after I saw this commercial was: “Divorce papers. With a red ribbon around them.”

Not only is this commercial indeed stupid, I actually hate it. Man goes through hoops to discreetly purchase a Smart car for his wife for Christmas, only for her to become instantaneously and ungratefully smitten with a piece of shit Buick cruising down the street.

In short, man gives gift, wife is ungrateful bitch.

Although the message is very much fictitious, and I honestly will foolishly give benefit of the doubt that there really are that many people who would be so ungratefully crass to rebuff an expensive and clearly high-effort gift literally three seconds after receiving it, I just really, really hate the message in general.

Continue reading “Man, What A Stupid Commercial #004” →