Tag: dad

2 Under 2: Self-fulfilling prophecy (#048)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When my older sister had children, she explained to me one day that doing anything with toddlers is basically a game of 15-minute chunks of time.  An ordinary run to the grocery store or a trip to Target which would ordinarily not take a tremendous amount of time has its time multiplied several times over due to the necessity of preparation to accommodate a toddler(s).  Naturally I understand, but it was one of those things that I hoped that when I had my own kid(s), if it was something that I might be able to improve upon or be more efficient with, because I’m always all for trying to find out how to make processes more efficient.

Over the weekend, we decided to take my child to the pool.  In spite of the weather, the skies opened up, the sun was bursting, and it looked like a scene right out of a Disney opening sequence.  So with the pool decided, the clock began ticking for preparing for a seemingly pedestrian trip to the neighborhood pool:

  • Put child in swimsuit
  • Put on our own swimsuits
  • Sunscreen child
  • Sunscreen ourselves
  • Bring snack for child
  • Bring drinks for ourselves
  • Is child’s inflatable inflated?
  • No, need to inflate
  • Pack pool bag
  • Mythical wife wants to take a smoothie to the pool
  • Need to prepare smoothie
  • Blender sounds scare child, need to calm her

25 minutes later, we’re in the car on the way to the pool.  Our window to enjoy the pool limited to the next daily milestone, which would be dinner at 5:20 for child.

But, as we pull into the pool lot, I see the first drips of precipitation on my windshield.  Undeterred, I say it’s just light sprinkles, and we get out of the car and prepare to go poolside, and wait under umbrellas if it gets any worse.  As I lift the hatch to my car to start unloading, the sky just decides to say fuck you, and suddenly it’s raining again, despite there being no clouds in the sky.

Trip to the pool dashed, we crankily went back home, with no pool enjoyment to be had.  My afternoon was effectively dashed and I was agitated the rest of the afternoon.

Frankly, this is hardly the first time that the game of 15-25 minutes just to execute has come into play, but it was definitely a prime example of how it affected things so immediately, and in spite of my desires to be a more efficient and higher executing parent, it’s a steep climb to not fall into the same pitfalls that all other parents probably do.

2 Under 2: Uncharted Territory (#047)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

At the time I’m writing this, mythical wife has passed the 36-week mark, and we’re nearly two weeks past the point in which my first was born early.  Needless to say, despite the fact that pregnancies are typically measured in 40-week events, a lot of things can happen in just less than two of them, especially towards the tail end of them.

Sure, no two pregnancies are ever the same as most moms will attest to, but at the same time, there are a lot of commonalities between them as well.  Regardless, since we’re into uncharted territory this time around, there are some stark noticeable differences between the first time and the current.

Mostly insomnia, but also the increasing strain of a growing entity the size of a butternut squash puts on mythical wife’s body, and she’s basically tipping past the point of relief that we’ve made it past 34.5 weeks, to getting eager to serve eviction papers to our little tenant living rent-free.

Despite our general preparation and understanding that baby #2 is on the way, I don’t think it’s really going to sink in entirely, until she’s actually arrived.  When I think about life as it is right now, as a one-child household, and the general routine that’s been carved out, it does make me a little nervous to when we hit the point where #2 arrives and then it’s back to the drawing board of figuring out how each and every day is going to go afterward.  Not that I feel any sort of dread and apprehension at the addition to the famiry, but it’s definitely going to be a challenge when everything is thrown into chaos once again.

But until then, it’s taking everything a day at a time until we’re out of days before the scheduled arrival, with clenched buttholes and constant status checks.  My own dad is convinced that we’ll make it all the way to the scheduled date, but I think mythical wife would rather slit her wrists than wait that much longer, but at the same thing if things show up sooner, then whew, here comes the pandemonium.

2 Under 2: Little reprieve (#046)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

At the time I’m writing this, I’m not particularly in a very good place.  As previously posted, mythical wife and I are at the point of #2’s pregnancy where our breath is being held since it’s possible that history could repeat itself and that’s becoming kind of stressful, for all related reasons. 

Meanwhile, in the life with #1, we’re trying to transition her from two naps a day to one, which comes with its own set of challenges to schedule and adaptation, not to mention that she’s clearly teething again, so that’s been kind of stressful for all related reasons.

And then there’s the whole job situation, where my bosses are literally trying to get me fired now, so imagine how it feels going into work each day knowing that you are not wanted there, and invisible plans are already in motion that can result in your termination.  So that’s been kind of stressful.  For all related reasons.

Needless to say, I’m currently in a position where the work week sucks for all obvious reasons, but then the weekends that are supposed to be two days of catching up and relaxation are sparsely any better because trying to navigate a teething toddler through a sleep transition often leads to a wailing baby and me getting frazzled and fried because I can’t afford to have the help of a nanny on weekends, mythical wife is very pregnant and can’t be as physically involved, which all results in not being particularly in a very good place.

I go to bed on Sunday night feeling dejected and worn down, and also completely dreading returning to work the following day for a different set of stressors and anxieties to take place and this is where I realize that I am not particularly in a very good place.

My capacity for any sort of disappointments and let-downs is basically nil, and once again I’m in this headspace where everything is setting me off and pissing me off way more than it probably should.  From the pets in the house, the barking of the dogs, the frustrations of cohabitation, but most of all, the sheer feeling of unreliability of the working world around me, namely the fact that mythical wife and I finally ordered a new treadmill, but it never showed.

It was scheduled for arrival on Sunday, the window for arrival was completely missed, we wasted the entire fucking day held hostage at home expecting an arrival only to discover that it wasn’t going to happen late in the day, and the day was basically a dead end wash in terms of potential productivity or finding something better to do with my wife and child than sit around and wait.

It started this mental snowball of how much the American workforce is unreliable and incompetent, and how much I fucking despise just people who simply cannot manage time.  I’m getting put on a track for firing because I’m potentially missing deadlines, but I never actually factually miss them.  Out in the real world, workers are missing deadlines, failing to fulfill orders or do their jobs well, and this is accepted as the norm.  I know there’s something to be said about not everyone having hair triggers on firing people, but there’s just this fucked up double standard I’m feeling with my own circumstances versus the ones I, and probably everyone else, notice on a regular basis, with incompetent workforces.

I know this is devolving into a rant, but the whole point of all this is that I’m at a yet another unfortunate burnout point, and like most cases, nothing is going to get through this other than time, but at this current juncture, all the lights at the end of the tunnels all come with their own sets of heavy baggage, nor are any one of them definitive and mean any of the other tunnels’ circumstances still don’t happen if I’m not on those trains.

Just need to hope to make it through each day, with a job intact, #1 in good health, and a mythical wife still in good shape with #2 in the oven.  But sometimes such circumstances feels like a bigger challenge than it does at other times.

2 Under 2: Walking on eggshells (#045)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment
Photo courtesy Here Comes the Sun Photography

Today marks 34 weeks in mythical wife’s pregnancy, which is a pretty significant milestone as far as we’re concerned.  Child #1 was prematurely born at 34.5 weeks, and from what a lot of medical sources tend to state, premature once, premature possible again. 

Needless to say, I’ve reached the stage of walking on eggshells and anoos clenched that history does not repeat itself, as in spite of how well we navigated the waters and journeys of a premature birth the first time around, it is still preferrable to hope to avoid it the second time around, avoid the NICU and hope for a closer-to-full-term arrival, closer to 40 weeks than 34.

All the same, we both need to be ready at a moment’s notice at this point, as anything is possible now.  Our home is relatively prepared, #2’s nursery is pretty much complete, and if we had to introduce a new child into the home today, we’d probably be in good shape in terms of preparation.  But still, given the challenges and strain of wading into the ocean of firsts the first time around, we both know what we’re hoping for, versus what we’re hoping to circumvent.

Regardless, it’s crazy to think that it’s almost arrival time for #2.  Before I know it, I’ll be a new dad to a second kid when I’m barely getting the scent of new dad off of me from the first.  As much as I’ve been mentally trying to not become complacent, settling into the routine of the development of one kid, knowing that the second is right around the corner, with the hopes that once #2 arrives, the rigors of overnight feeds, sleep deprivation and the added challenge of two simultaneous children, I know it’s going to hit like a ton of bricks all over again and mythical wife and I will be in for a world of fatigue very soon.

Until then though, it’s hold onto your butts and hoping for the best.  Every day beyond the 34.5 week mark will be a gift, and I’m hoping that we’ll reach a point where mythical wife will be clawing at the bit to serve an eviction notice, rather than to be on pins and needles hoping #2 will stay put for just a little bit longer.

2 Under 2: My child has a more refined palette than Paul Walker (#044)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As my child has gradually been climbing up the ladder of solid foods, one of the things that I have held back up to this point has been the crusts of bread.  One of the things that I’ve given her periodically has been toast with cheese melted on it; but minus the crust, as toasted bread crusts are hard, crusty and would be something of a choking hazard if not just a coughing trigger, things that I wanted to avoid while she was still very little.

Recently, I’ve begun feeding her the crust of bread, seeing as how she has several teeth and has become quite the voracious eater, much like her dad, and the risk of choking and weak esophagus have diminished some over the months.  To no surprise, she was able to take her own bites of the crust of bread and eaten it with little complaint.

It was in this moment that I realized that my daughter has a much more sophisticated palette than Paul Walker’s character Brian O’Connor from the greatest movie series of all time, the original The Fast and the Furious (the one with the the’s in the title).  And since characters are often loosely based on the people portraying them, I’m going to guess that tuna on white no crust is probably something that Paul Walker himself fancied, we won’t know definitively rest in peace.

But the fact that my daughter is more than capable and willing to eat the crusts of her bread means that at 14 months old, she has already surpassed the culinary palette of a 28-year old Paul Walker, when his character was shown stepping into the Toretto’s family convenience store to try and get into Mia’s pants by repeatedly ordering tuna sandwiches with no crust.

This might be more brog-worthy than her first steps or the fact that she’s demonstrating her increasing intelligence on a daily basis, but to out-eat Paul Walker, is something a dad should be proud of.

2 Under 2: the first restaurant experience (#043)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Mother’s Day was a big day for my family: we collectively went out to eat for the very first time.  It was my child’s first ever visit to a restaurant.

Ordinarily, this does not sound like remotely anything close to a big deal, but considering my first hasn’t left the house for basically any reason but doctor’s visits, sparse store trips, or riding in the car while we pick up takeout for the first 14 months of her existence, mythical wife and I like to think it is something of a deal to us.

Over the last year, I can count on one hand how many times mythical wife and I have gone out to eat; all were special occasions, and all were either eating outdoors and/or after vaccination.  This dining out experience with our child fills out the first hand, but the point is despite safety measures and vaccinations, my household is still very careful and conservative when it comes to dining out because we have brains and know that the world is still not safe at all, especially in America where we have the dumbest anti-vaxxing non-believing Karen and Karl cultures ruining it for everyone actually trying to bring down the numbers.

Anyway, we went to a Mexican restaurant we like, at an odd hour between lunch and dinner to avoid crowds, and sat on the patio.  We brought our own child seat because I still don’t trust all places, regardless of how buttoned up this restaurant typically is, and the familiarity would hopefully ease the transition of the brand-new experience of eating somewhere other than home, with lots of people all around us, and eating outdoors.

Much to our relief and much to my pride, my daughter was absolutely perfect during the whole time there.  Not a single fuss, no crying, whimpering or whining, and she was completely behaved and perfect the entire visit.  She ate a chicken and cheese quesadilla with no complaints, and mythical wife and I could not have been any happier or proud of her behavior on what was her first ever dining out experience.

Honestly, I don’t know how I’d have felt if it didn’t go so well.  I know I’d be quick to get her out of the chair and try to comfort her in the parking lot or something, since we were already on the patio, but thankfully she was so perfectly behaved, that nothing of the sort had to come into play.

2 Under 2: the girls’ first blets (#042)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Until my girls are old enough to make the choice themselves that they want to have their respective blets on their own walls, they will have a forever home on my office wall, alongside my existing collection.  It brings the total blets on the wall up to 20, but the reality is that I hope to someday relinquish these two blets to my daughters one day, and I will be the proudest dad in the world on the day I get to mount these onto the walls of their rooms.

I have to say that up until I received my replicas, I’ve always been kind of lukewarm on the design of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship blets.  Seeing them on television, I wasn’t ecstatic about the design, but I knew that after I learned I was going to have a second daughter, that I was going to want replicas of them anyway, because two daughters are a natural tag team, and they need to be recognized as the champions they are inevitably going to be.

But upon receiving the replicas, I’m quite blown away by the quality of them.  I don’t know if the actual blets are like it, but the replicas’ straps are more of a cream color than straight up white as I figured they, and all the other women’s blets in the company were, but it’s such a subtle thing that I really like.  The plates are impeccably crafted, and I’m both sold and thrilled that I have a pair of them to bequeath to my girls when #2 officially arrives.

It’s so lame, it’s so expensive and it’s so frivolous, but I don’t care.  Collecting blets is something that I enjoy and I hope that one day my girls recognize such, and would be willing to indulge their old man and want to carry a piece of his hobbies, at least onto their own walls to maybe show that they love me too, even when they’ll inevitably hate their parents for being squares and out of touch.