Among other things, the internet ruins wrestling

When the fans were chanting for Brock Lesnar fifteen minutes before he was supposed to “shock the world” with his return, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in John Cena’s head, since he was the guy in the ring trying to cut a promo, but being drowned out by the Lesnar chants.  Also, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in the minds of WWE upper management and Vince McMahon at what was transpiring before their very eyes and ears – every single person in an arena, completely already in the know of what was probably carefully prepared, scripted and planned to be a big surprise.  I wonder if someone got fired as a result, or even more meta, this was all perhaps an even bigger elaborate ruse!  But I kind of doubt it.

Continue reading “Among other things, the internet ruins wrestling”

Boner conspiracy!

Apparently, the same Boner’s BBQ that I was fascinated with a few months back, is under a ton of fire recently.  Mostly, due to the fact that the owner of the company took too personally, a negative review of their business on Yelp.  So he did what, well, nobody else has really done, as an actual business owner, and proceeded to go on the company’s Facebook page, post a picture of her (she’s fat, big surprise), tell her to go fuck herself, and to Yelp that, bitch.  Pretty much everything has been redacted at this point, and as of my typing this right now, is a whole lot of back-pedaling, damage control, superficial apologies, and naturally because this surfaced on the internet, a whole lot of people trumpeting superficial righteousness.

Firstly, I think that everyone who is condemning Boners is full of shit.  There’s a lot of fake righteousness and “that’s now how you run a business” rhetoric being flung around, because other people are watching.  Deep down, I have a hard time believing that anyone who has worked in the food-service industry at any point in their lives (which are most, hard-working, had jobs as teenagers), believes for a second that Boners is in the wrong for actually acting on impulse and anger and ripping this heifer a new asshole on the internet.  Not tipping is the worst thing a customer can do to an establishment, because someone ends up getting boned in the end (no pun intended), and pretty much everyone who’s ever worked food service has been stiffed somewhere down the line.  To these people trumpeting condemnation and wishing for the business to go under, I say you are all either full of shit, or have never worked in the food service industry before and should also go fuck yourselves for being too spoiled to have to.

Continue reading “Boner conspiracy!”

Things I would tweet if I did Twitter

If people spoke in the manner in which they typed, then 70% people on the internet probably sound like retards.

The mark of good text communication is the conveyance of voice.

Taking the middle urinal out of three urinals is always a dick move.

I wish more things were punishable by immediate death.

It would be awesome if remote-controlled retractable spike strips, existed to put on my far-off, preferred parking space.