Tag: cashmoney

Looks like someone else forgot to carry a one

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Something to mull over in pound-me-in-the-ass federal prison: Zulily employee attempts similar scheme from Office Space to similar results, but isn’t bailed out by an arsonist

Ultimately, the best part about this whole story is that it’s just a great excuse for everyone to make Office Space references all over again.  Like, people don’t realize just how timeless of a film Office Space really is, and that it was so perfectly created that it could very easily be watched in any decade with minimal age cringe, and still be relatable.

I just like how there were people out there who actually thought 20 years was sufficient time past the release of the film to think that they could actually get away with trying to enact the same plan as from the movie.  But then they somehow manage to make the same critical error in their program, and basically come to the exact same result as in the film, which was roughly around $300,000.

I mean, if fictional Initech were going to notice $300k, then a real company like Zulily was definitely going to notice $300k.  I don’t know if this guy and his team forgot to carry a one over somewhere in their code, or more likely just weren’t particularly bright, but it’s hilarious to think that they thought they would get away with this.

Worst part about the changing of the times is that companies like Zulily are largely virtual and decentralized now, so even if they did have an arsonist in place to be their contingency plan, all their data was probably all cloud-based anyway, so short of knowing what server farm in what continent it was running off of, the likelihood of them burning down the right one probably wouldn’t have been very high.

All the same, thanks to this story, Office Space is back in the forefront again, and perhaps the worthless kids of today can watch it and get a glimpse of what waits for them in the future, and bring them back down to earth a peg or two.

I don’t think the WWE realizes the Christmas gift they’ve just been given

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

SSDD – WWE superstar under fire for unpopular opinions on social media, feat. Lacey Evans

I don’t particularly care to go too in depth on what Lacey Evans said or supported on social media, I’m sure anyone interested could simply google it and find it with relative ease, but basically it has something to do with her basically being a believer in some conspiracies about how autism and ADD are fake or something of the sort, and the internet coming down on her like Hulkamania, forcing her into internet defense mode, and last I checked, she’s deactivated all her shit and gone dark, as one really should do when the heat gets a little hot.

The point of this post is though, that if there were ever one small sliver of an advantage that Lacey Evans has in her life right now, is the fact that she’s a professional wrestler, an occupation oft-seen as carny and not to be taken too seriously, and if she and interested parties play their cards right, I feel like there’s a hell of a gift to be found and cashed in upon, and Evans can be absolved of dumb doing, and the WWE can possibly make some money in the process.

Long story short, the WWE hasn’t had much luck in finding a working formula, creatively, for Lacey Evans.  And Lacey Evans, personal beliefs notwithstanding, is one of those talents that actually excels more on the physical spectrum than character work, which is kind of a rarity these days, as lots of wrestlers have realized that it’s more important to be able to entertaining versus demonstrating technical ability.

We had the, kind of Rosie the Riveter She Can Do It version of Lacey Evans when she was still in NXT, she was called up to the main roster to be the sassy southern belle, which had a little bit of success, but her personal life derailed her career just when things were getting interesting in a program with Charlotte Flair when she got pregnant and had to go off television.  But to her credit, she had a kid, got back into shape, but has been spinning wheels trying to get back on television, even trying to lean into the usual layup of All-American veteran-turned pro wrestler.

Just when things were seemingly trying to get back on course again, by pairing Evans up with the hall of fame Sgt. Slaughter, she had to get in her own way by spouting off on Twitter, which frankly social media should be avoided by all celebrities if they know what’s good for them, and the internet is all over her because her opinions are not popular, regardless of the fact that I think they’re dumb too personally.

But the thing is, as Eric Bischoff once said, controversy creates cash, and whether Lacey Evans and the WWE realize it or not, they’ve been given a tremendous gift right now, in the form of an extremely effective emotion-eliciting potential persona for Lacey Evans:

Lacey Evans: the Karen of the WWE.

Continue reading “I don’t think the WWE realizes the Christmas gift they’ve just been given” →

Anyone who thought the Braves were going to keep Swanson doesn’t know the Braves

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Shocker of the century: Dansby Swanson signs with the Chicago Cubs, parting ways with his hometown team Atlanta Braves

Before we get to Swanson, I just wanted to take this opportunity to lol very heartily at the breaking news that Carlos Correa failed his physical with the Giants but then was immediately swooped up by the Mets for comparable money (12 years, $315M), and it doesn’t help the narrative that nobody wants to play for the Giants which tickles me pink.

As the subject states, anyone who thought that the Atlanta Braves had any chance at all at retaining hometown boy, Dansby Swanson, simply doesn’t know the Atlanta Braves at all.  It was such a foregone conclusion when the Braves either didn’t try hard enough or just didn’t try at all and didn’t extend him when they had the chance, that he was gone as soon as he hit free agency.

Honestly though, I’m not the least bit mad about it.  Sure, it puts the Braves in a pretty big hole of losing an above-average caliber shortstop, and on paper they’re weaker than they were the year prior when they won the division in exciting fashion.  Not to mention it doesn’t help that the Phillies and Mets have both dropped massive money on upgrading at the shortstop position, and on paper, should both be surpassing the Braves in 2023.

Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m still in the fan hangover of the 2021 World Series champion Braves that shields a number of years afterward from abject criticism.  Maybe it’s because I’m just such a fan removed from the minutiae of the team that it doesn’t bother me.  Maybe it’s because I knew there was a 0% chance that he was going to come back and I like being proven right.  Or maybe it’s because baseball is a bigger crapshoot than any other sport, and the Braves will plug someone in at the six, catch lightning in a bottle and still remain competitive in a suddenly white-hot NL East on paper.  Or maybe it’s a combination or bits and pieces of all of the above, but I just don’t really care that Swanson isn’t coming back, regardless of how much of a competitive disadvantage it puts the Braves at to not have him.

Dansby Swanson has nothing left to prove staying on the Braves, and the Braves don’t really gain much benefit in dumping a ton of money into keeping him.  He’s the hometown kid from Kennesaw, Georgia who contributed towards the franchise’s first World Series in 27 years, all while making team-controlled money.  As far as Braves Corporate goes, this was the best-case scenario that they could have asked for, and now the real financial commitment to him belongs to the Cubs and not them.

Continue reading “Anyone who thought the Braves were going to keep Swanson doesn’t know the Braves” →

Marvel Comics imagined by someone who doesn’t know Marvel Comics

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The following is a painting by the world renown famous Thomas Kincade Studios®.  From what the product description states, this is supposed to represent the Battle of Wakanda, that I have no idea is actually sourced from, but my knee-jerk reaction was that this was just a hilariously bad imagining of the climactic fight from Avengers: Infinity War.

Because Thanos’ forces weren’t Skrulls, nor did they have the Hulk/Wolverine Hulkerine abomination in their ranks, and I didn’t know why one of the troglodytes had Loki horns and was carrying Stormbreaker.  Nor was Storm involved in the battle, much less any mutants at all because phase one of the MCU most definitely didn’t have any of the M-words anywhere, at least in name.

But in all fairness, the product description actually discloses that it’s some other battle of Wakanda, and discloses the Skrulls by name, so it really isn’t just a tragically terrible imagining of the Infinity War battle, as much as I would have loved for it to have been.

All the same, it’s still terrible in its own right, and there’s a legendary degree of shark-jumping and DJ Tanner wrestling in play here with Disney actually allowed for the vaunted Marvel comics to do a collaboration with Thomas Kinkade, which is best known for the overly fluffy artwork of horses, cottages and forest fantasy scenes on plates and forgettable artwork hanging at your white grandma’s house.

And all the same, it’s fairly clear that whomever did paint this horrendous piece probably doesn’t know Marvel comics at all.  I know there were other super Skrulls that emerged throughout the years, but most all comic followers usually are aware of the OG Super Skrull and that his additional powers were only that of the four members of the Fantastic Four.

I just love how there’s the primary focal point of the Skrull army being some nondescript super Skrull who is as big as the Hulk, has one flaming arm of Human Torch, and is sprouting Wolverine claws out of the other.  And then you have the other hulking Skrull in the background carrying two Asgardian weapons, leading one to believe that if these are the bad guys, how are they worthy to be holding two Asgardian weapons?

And then there’s the weird golem in the background that looks like a cross between Mach I Iron Man and Juggernaut, but for some reason he has Thing’s arm.  Furthermore, none of the Skrulls have the multiple cleft chins that they’re pretty known for physically.

But what I like about this piece is that due to the multiple points of focus, and the strange right-to-left directionality of the conflict, and to those who might actually not follow comics and were to look at this, it really is kind of ambiguous to whom the artist of this piece had envisioned the bad guys to be.  For all the casual viewers would know, the Skrulls are the ones defending their land and their futuristic looking city in the background from an army of invading black people, and not vice versa.

Considering the general demographic of Thomas Kinkade’s usual consumer base, this was either done intentionally, or completely unconsciously by the artist.  Neither of which is good, but at least it’s something for comic fans to all collectively point and laugh at.

Starting at $950, the fuck out of here

That’s a whole lot of words to say “because we suck”

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

lol’d heartily: San Francisco Giants GM Farhan Zaidi tries to explain the difficulty of signing free agents because nobody likes the city

I remember when my baseball travels took me to San Francisco, I looked forward to the trip.  Years of watching stuff like Full House and Mrs. Doubtfire made the city seem like a pretty cool place, but at the same time, as a sports fan, I was a little skeptical, because as far as baseball was concerned, it became pretty common knowledge that San Francisco was the city that was 69F all year long, and their sports fans were among the most insufferably obnoxious ones in existence.

All the same, I looked forward to the trip as I did most all of my baseball trips, because regardless of the preconceived notions, it was still a place I’d never been to before, and I always relished the opportunity to see new places.

After my trip was over, I had decided that it was a good enough trip, but as a whole, I really wasn’t that impressed with San Francisco.  Everything everywhere was ridiculously expensive, the weather really was static, and it was just a difficult city to traverse in general.  As far as ballparks were concerned, I thought Oakland’s decrepit mausoleum of a ballpark was the better place to watch a game, and the sports culture was everything I had expected before going there.  Giants clearly cared more about the scene than they did the team, and even when they were getting stomped by the rival A’s, the fans still went ballistic for the Fist Pump Cam, and I’d never felt more embarrassed for other human beings in my entire life.

Despite the hype and perception and the self-importance from those in the Bay area, San Francisco was not a city I am that fond of, and I have little motive to want to visit again without good reason.

So I was quite tickled pink to read this article where the Giants’ GM Farhan Zaidi maybe said a little too much in an interview, because he basically said that free agents don’t want to sign with his team because the city kind of sucks.  He cited a couple of things that were not at all sports-related, and the author of the aforementioned story injected a little bit more of their own opinion into the article trying to smokescreen it as Zaidi’s.

But they mention stuff like homelessness and drug problems in the city, and although they don’t expressly say it, their use of sociological factors is basically trying to skirt around the fact that San Francisco is pretty well known to be one of the gayest cities in America, and I don’t say that with any hint of criticism or animosity, after all I’m in Atlanta, which is probably right behind them in population of the LGBTQ+.

Ballplayers probably don’t care about homelessness or drug use in the city, what they’re more likely to care about it the fact that it’s an expensive as fuck city to live in, and even the biggest of superstars are going to have a hard time trying to find a place to live, having to compete with all tech millionaires and billionaires that live in Silicon Valley.  Over the last few years, there have been numerous professional athletes who have turned away opportunities to play in New York and Canada over anticipated tax costs, and gone to places like Texas and Florida where tax laws aren’t as costly, they get that granular with their money.  San Francisco and the highest real estate costs in the country aren’t very likely to be that attractive to anyone, much less professional athletes.

Maybe the more country bumpkin athletes might have an objection with living in a blue state full of the gays, but it’s more likely that what will drive them away is a city with horrendous traffic and mountainous hills where they can’t drive their sports cars around in and have any fun, but it really was hilarious that the author of the post cited being the home to Nancy Pelosi as a potential reason why Aaron Judge wouldn’t sign there.

The thing is, no life-long Bay area resident would ever publicly decry their hometown to anyone other than other Bay area lifers.  Hometown criticism is like mom jokes, as in only we are allowed to make them, but coming from outside us, fuck you.  So it makes it that much more entertaining to me, that a notable representative of the city in the form of the hometown baseball club’s general manager goes on the record to point out all the faults why free agents wouldn’t want to sign there.  I’m sure he’s going to be a popular fellow until the next shiny distraction emerges.

Naturally, at the time I’m writing this, word drops that the Giants succeeded in signing shortstop Carlos Correa to a 13-year megadeal worth $350 million.  Most interestingly about the initial details is that I’ve noticed that there are no opt-out clauses, which means I really hope Correa likes the city, because he’s going to be there for quite some time.  Hopefully he knew what he was getting himself into, otherwise it’s going to suuuuuck.

Either way speaking of suuuuuuuck, suck it, San Francisco.  Y’all are an overrated city that nobody outside of it likes.  I relish in the fact that coronavirus exposed the town more than any other in America and their ridiculous real estate market took a notable hit, and it almost nearly gets some blood flow to hear that the Giants’ own GM think the city sucks too.

Ho hum, just more Korea > Japan

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Not surprising when you think about it: Korean webtoons surpassing Japanese manga in terms of popularity, profitability

Usually in my friends’ group chat, we talk about politics, futbol (right now), and an inordinate amount of conversation about fried chicken.  But out of the blue one of my friends posts this story, and it’s definitely the type of story that chubs me up, about how Korean webtoons are surpassing Japanese manga.  And when you stop and think about the state of the world and how in spite of what I primarily do for a living, everything is advancing towards a digital medium, it’s a pure no-brainer and not at all surprising.

Everyone has a phone, Korean or Japanese.  Or French, Portuguese, German, American or Canadian for that matter.  And regardless of one’s attitude about such a notion, among everyone who has one, the vast majority of these users are probably looking at their phones way more than they should be.  That being said, at least in Asia, it’s not a surprise that Korean webtoons are passing Japanese manga in popularity and profitability.

It really does boil down to the adage that the medium is the message, and that if you’re not using the right medium, the message might as well not exist.  The fact that webtoons are accessible on mobile devices that everyone already is carrying in the first place, will always make them more appealing than the need for a physical edition, or worse of, having to go hunt down the physical edition and risk not getting it.

But what I love about the article is the also-obvious observation of Japan’s tendency to be too Japanese, and always try and justify instances where they’re falling behind in the world under a bullshit veil of traditionalism and art.  Sure, there is some weight to the argument, but in the sheer rat race of the world and business, printed manga isn’t going to be able to keep up with the rise of artists who learn how to cater their art style to a digital medium.

If someone tells me about the next Squid Game or Itaewon Class and I’m interested, I’m going to want to check it out immediately.  Sure, it would be cool to have a physical edition of something, but as far as a customer experience goes, being unable to get it will definitely sour me on the property, even though such was out of their control.  But being able to hop on my phone and download it immediately and be immediately able to check it out, that’s the very definition of convenience and an immediate win for webtoons.

I understand the tradition argument, and there is merit to having physical shit.  But what all this really boils down to is the obvious conclusion that is the title of this post: ho hum, another instance where Korea has shown their superiority over Japan.  No matter how much all the fucking weebs of the world try and defend it, it’s hard to compete tangible evidence of dollars yen won.

Sports have too much fucking money, vol. 1,369: feat. the New York Mets

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not going to pretend like I pay a tremendous amount of attention to baseball news these days, but I know enough of what’s going on to know that the Mets are dumping a tremendous amount of money to try and become a championship contender.  I knew they already had Max Scherzer, and that they were paying him an inordinate amount of money for a guy that effectively plays once every five days, so it was somewhat head-scratching when I heard that the Mets went out and “won” the Justin Verlander sweepstakes, signing him to a 2-year, $86-million dollar contract, I’m thinking damn, the Mets are really locking up $86 mil a year on just two pitchers?  I’m pretty sure the Oakland A’s entire payroll next year isn’t $86 mil.*

*at the time I’m writing this, 11 teams don’t have a payroll that cracks $86 mil including of course, the Oakland A’s

Of course, on paper this has all the pundits thinking the Mets are now the odds-on favorite to win it all, seeing as how they have two of the game’s best pitchers, even if they’re going to be paying them an entire team’s payroll on top of the other 38 guys on the roster they’ll have to pay, including the $54 million to two other players in Francisco Lindor and the freshly re-signed Brandon Nimmo, so if we’re keeping count already, the Mets are paying $140 mil to just four guys for 2023 alone.

[Repeat the title of this post with me here]

They won 101 games in 2022 without Justin Verlander, and if not for an epic, late-season collapse against the Braves, should have won the division, but that still didn’t stop them from choking in the first round against the Padres.  Regardless, the addition of a talent like Justin Verlander theoretically should make a good team like the Mets even better in 2023.

Who knows, maybe the 2023 Mets, in spite of the criticism of their historic $300M+ protected opening day payroll will win 102 games, win the division and avoid having to play in the wild card round and actually have a successful playoff run?

But who are we kidding, this is the New York Mets we’re talking about, they of the LOLMets meme of history.  They could have Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, Clayton Kershaw, Nolan Ryan and Sandy Koufax as their starting five, and they’d still probably find a way to fuck things up and fail, as they always do.  They could spend $500 million dollars and have 4+ WAR players in every position in their lineup, but they’ll still find a way to shit the bed in the playoffs and get bounced by the Cardinals or Padres or Phillies.

And the biggest thing is that teaming Verlander and Scherzer up is no guarantee, because as many casual baseball fans probably might not be aware of, this has already happened before, as both of them were on the Detroit Tigers together between 2010 and 2014.  Five years of Verlander and Scherzer in the same rotation, and zero World Series rings to show for it.  They even had help from guys like David Price and a resurgent Anibal Sanchez in some of those years.  Sure, they made the playoffs four times, but the one time they made it to the World Series together in 2012, they got swept by the vastly less-talented Giants, getting victimized by guys like Pablo Sandoval and Marco Scutaro.

What I think is funny is how just about everyone the Tigers once had all achieved success outside of Detroit.  Max Scherzer got his ring with the Nationals in 2018, Justin Verlander won twice with the Astros in 2017 and this past year, and even David Price got a ring in Boston and Anibal Sanchez was also lights out for that 2018 Nationals playoff team.

So the point is, if a young and spry Scherzer and Verlander couldn’t get the job done ten years ago, Father Time is kind of betting against 40-year old versions of Scherzer and Verlander doing it, especially when they’ll be trying on a team as accursed as the New York Mets.

If me writing about it is a temptation of fate and I end up being completely wrong, hey I’ll be glad to revisit this if I notice and care in the future and admit being wrong, no shame in that.  But if I’m a betting man, I’m siding with Father Time, and going to take the bet against the Mets.  I know you have to spend money to make money, but, and I hate to sound all corporate Braves-ey, but allocating as much money that the Mets are to just two and four players just doesn’t sound what’s best for business.