Daniel Bryan and taking good back

6/24/13, Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton – Match of the Year

Obviously this is subjective, since I’m kind of more of a casual viewer than I once was, but it’s also worth noting that this is probably the longest stretch that I’ve been paying attention to wrestling in quite some time. Typically over the last few years, the pattern is that I start tuning again in around November when the baseball season is completely done with, all the way to around Wrestlemania which oftentimes coincides with the start of the next baseball season, and despite my intent to keep tuned in through the baseball season, I typically wane until the pattern repeats itself. That hasn’t really happened this year; whether it’s baseball’s importance to me drifting off, or the quality of WWE programming to keep me tuned in, I’ve still been capable of paying attention and staying somewhat on top of current storylines and happenings. I like to think it’s the latter.

Regardless, I still rarely watch any episodes of RAW or Smackdown live. I DVR both programs, and watch them at my own convenience; I’ve gotten pretty good at utilizing the +30 seconds button on the remote to fly through commercials, John Cena promos, and matches that don’t seem worth the time, and am capable of condensing a three-hour RAW down to about a little over an hour.

But anyway, as I was catching up this past Monday’s RAW, I found myself eagerly awaiting the main event between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. They’ve been running a program over the last month or so, where Orton has often been getting the better of through a series of lame-duck endings, while Daniel Bryan has been portraying an inferiority complex gimmick, which is getting massively, wildly over with the WWE fans, to a point where even management realizes that they have to do something about it.

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Photos: Clearwater, Hogan Beach and baseball

I made a spontaneous trip down to Tampa, Florida, because my boy James said he was going to make the trip up to Clearwater to visit the Hulk Hogan Beach Store.  Frankly, I couldn’t see myself visiting on my own and I’m not sure to who I would be able to force come along, so this was an opportunity that I was not willing to pass up.

As for the store itself, it was pretty much the Hulk Hogan Nostalgia Center located on the Beach for all intents and purposes, filled to the brim with Hogan-related memorabilia, souvenirs, crap on the wall, as well as a huge variety of t-shirts and other chintzy things that all have Hogan’s likeness all over it.  And tons of yellow, it was like Asian camouflage in there.

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It must suck to be New Jersey

It’s that time of the year when a big inanimate sign with the Wrestlemania logo on it ends up being a bigger star on WWE programming than guys like Kofi Kingston, Santino Marella and the Great Khali.  From January until the start of April, the John Cenas, CM Punks, Big Shows and Dolph Zigglers will stare dreamily at, or point at the sign which hangs high above the arenas in which these shows take place in.  But the point of this post is not wrestling at all; it’s about the Wrestlemania logo, or more specifically what is on the Wrestlemania logo.

“NY|NJ”  As in “New York | New Jersey.”  Which will be taking place at MetLife Stadium, which is located approximately in East Rutherford, wait for it, New Jersey.  Not New York.  No part of Wrestlemania will be taking place in the state of New York.  100% of Wrestlemania will be taking place in the state of New Jersey.  Yet the actual Wrestlemania logo goes as far as to integrate the Empire State Building into it as well, further adding to the absurdity that Wrestlemania is going to take place right in the heart of Times Square or something.

The bottom line is that I don’t really understand why New Jersey so often needs or is unnecessarily given the crutch of New York to give it appeal.  The irony is that I don’t even really like New Jersey, but I still feel bad for the state for constantly being in this strange identity limbo that requires New York to be handcuffed to them in order to give them any notoriety.

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SEUPAAAH GLEEUU

As I was just finishing up my workout and was walking to the locker room, I ran into the current WWE Intercontinental Champion, Wade Barrett today. It dawned on me that there was a RAW taking place in Atlanta tonight, based on a scathing CM Punk promo from a week ago.

Anyway, Barrett was pleasant enough to take a quick picture with me as he was clearly done working out and was on his way out. I asked him if he remembered when Wrestlemania was in Atlanta a few years ago, during the Fan Axxess, if he remembered when someone asked him the question of what he put in his hair to keep it in place while he wrestled. He smirked and was all like “Oh yeah… What did I say? ‘Super glue, right?’

Well, with his cockney accent it came out more like “seupah gleu” but yeah.

Cool guy, that Wade Barrett is.

How much the WWE has changed

If anyone were to ask me who I thought was going to win between CM Punk and The Rock, I would have said CM Punk every time.  It’s no secret that The Rock is a part-time wrestler, and there would be absolutely no point in giving the WWE World Title to a part-time wrestler who is only biding his time until his next movie role begins filming.  So color me surprised that the WWE went ahead and put the World Title on The Rock at the Royal Rumble.

Obviously, this makes things pretty crystal clear of what is going to transpire over the next three months of WWE programming; with John Cena being the winner of the Royal Rumble and can choose which championship he wants to go for, there’s no question he’s going after The Rock, and at the same time, hope to avenge his loss at last year’s Wrestlemania, as well as win the World Title.  Cena will win this year, as The Rock will no doubt have some movie obligation to do by April.  This subsequently sets up an instant Punk/Cena feud, where Punk can cite that Cena has never beaten him for the title, and that he wants it back.

But what the point of writing about wrestling today isn’t so much current events as much as it is just musing about how much the WWE has changed in recent times.  I used to believe, and justifiably, by these rules when it came to watching WWE programming:

  • Part-time wrestlers never beat full-time wrestlers
  • You never win in your hometown
  • The business always comes out on top

It’s occurred to me that just about all of these are hardly the case anymore, and that more or less the company has done a complete 180 in regards to how these things are handled.  I can’t necessarily say I agree with the choices the WWE makes, but seeing as how they’re as strong as ever and are the ever-adapting entertainment machine it really doesn’t matter in the end.

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Ryback = Goldberg Type-R

I don’t hide the fact that I have no love for the wrestler Ryback, because quite frankly I am incapable of seeing him as nothing but a bastardized mish-mash of several other wrestlers from the past.  The obvious parallel is the fact that he’s a Goldberg rip, due to the fact that he’s white, bald, jacked up and does nothing but high-impact power moves while displaying very little actual wrestling talent.

He’s also part Rhyno, due to the ring attire that almost looks as if Ryback went to a Rhyno garage sale, bought all of his old ring gear and just had all instances of “Rhyno” airbrushed out and replaced to say “Ryback.”  And like Rhyno, Ryback uses nothing but brute strength and power moves.

But last night, Ryback copied else that I felt was inappropriate, and in my distorted reality, crossing the line.  I’m not sure what prompted Ryback to even get on the microphone in the first place, as he has the speaking eloquence of Corky from Life Goes On, but he decided to try and blurble out some words to the sheep that somehow cheer his every action.  But then he said the words “Enough is enough, and it’s time for a change.”  That’s what agitated me, and prompted me to write out my displeasure at this no-talent oaf chewing up television time.

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Why would Ted DiBiase wrestle in his suit?

While at my parents’ house, I discovered that they had unearthed a lot of my old toys that still existed in the bowels of the basement, for my nephew to play with.  As much as my three-year old nephew was disinterested in a bunch of action figures that he had no idea of whom they were, I was just as ecstatic to take a trip down memory lane of the things I once shelled out money to buy and actually play with when I was still a kid.

Among these figures were all my old WWF action figures, and today’s post is going to be dedicated to just one of those figures: The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase (series 2).

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