Tag: cashmoney

This is probably going to be a thing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Do you know what professional athletes like aside from money?  Attention.

Sure, there’s a correlation between attention and earning money, but when the day is over, professional athletes still love to gain attention, whether it is good or bad.  It’s why you hear of former pros doing random things when their playing careers are over, presumably just to see their names get published somewhere for some reason.

One of the easiest ways to gain attention for professional athletes is to do things that other professional athletes don’t do.  And when professional athletes left and right are flaunting their wealth, and boasting their ridiculous homes, expensive accessories and overpriced cars, it’s easy to get noticed when you go against such a common grain.

So when top QB draft pick Mitchell Trubisky, rolled into the Chicago Bears minicamp in an old 1997 Toyota Camry, people did notice.  That tends to happen when a guy makes it into the NFL and is expected to immediately cash in their signing bonuses and get themselves a six-figure vehicle, because let’s be real here, like 99%* of top-10 draft picks tend to do that.

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Who knew how loudly money spoke?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Shocker of the year: I-85 announced to be opening Monday morning, tremendously ahead of schedule

Funny how predictable things become once money is introduced into the equation.  Back when the bridge originally collapsed, there were rumblings about how it would take until Thanksgiving to repair.  Eventually people realized that cities can’t necessarily operate efficiently with a massive chasm in the road, so the timeline to repair was suddenly bumped to early June. 

And then the Georgia Department of Transportation put a big fat $3.1 million dollar incentive reward in play if the contractors responsible for the bridge repair could finish before Memorial Day weekend, May 26-29.

A surprise to nobody at all, the bridge repairs are not only going to beat the Memorial Day reward deadline, they’re going to beat it by nearly two full weeks.  How interesting that a potential reward has sufficiently motivated people to do their jobs.

Whatever though, regardless of the pathetic display of greed exhibited by this whole debacle, I’m just glad that I-85 is going to be repaired sooner rather than later.  I know other people have had it way worse than I have, but it’s definitely made some trips way more tedious and time-consuming than they should be if GDOT weren’t such irresponsible slugs leaving their flammable shit underneath bridges with the crackheads.

I would like a Grand Vitara now pls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the better things I’ve seen in my life recently: Proud owner of a 1996 Suzuki Grand Vitara makes the most epic commercial for the sale of his car in the history of mankind

Among the things in our lives that my brother and I still reference to our very old ages is the phrase “standard;” used ironically to describe things that aren’t impressive but we try to make it sound such anyway.  It all derived from this parody of a Dodge Aries commercial we saw back in like, 1999, that we still chuckle about today.

Figure that back in 1999, they were spoofing a car back from 1988, and we come to present day, and now there’s an epic commercial for a car that is apparently from, 1996.  Obviously, technology has changed a good deal since then, and no such capabilities are left out of this amazing digital love letter to the Suzuki Grand Vitara.

The amazing thing about the video is that it starts off modestly, and much like the Aries commercial, the overinflation of the basic features, presented ironically as if they were spaceship technologies.  But throughout the escalation of epicness, I felt that it never really peaks and simply continues to get better without ever declining.

Seriously, from running away from T-Rex, chasing the War Rig, to somehow ending up on the surface of the moon, it just gets more and more outrageously funny, before it doubles me over with the Back to the Future reappearance in the end before the unfortunate end to such a grand masterpiece.

Regardless, as a whole, this video is one of the better things I’ve seen lately.  It’s ironic, it’s well made and above all, it’s hilarious.  Kudos to the guy who made it, and I imagine anyone who watches this would want a 20-year old Grand Vitara themselves now as well.  I certainly do.

Derek Jeter would make an interesting owner

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Impetus: Group which includes Derek Jeter has reached agreement to purchase the Miami Marlins for $1.3 billion dollars

Granted, this doesn’t mean anything yet because nothing in Major League Baseball is done at a reasonable amount of time, and there will need to be a laundry list of approvals and votes and other time-sucking tasks before anything can be made official.  But given the two options of keeping the Marlins in the hands of Jeffrey Loria, one of the most loathed personalities in baseball, or transferring them to for all intents and purposes Derek Jeter, one of the most beloved and revered players in the modern era, I think it’s a safe bet that Yeah Jeets is going to end up owner of the Marlins fairly soon.

I feel like I shouldn’t forget to mention that among the $1.3 billion dollar group is former Florida governor Jeb Bush, who is notably a member of the Bush family which included once-unpopular amongst the left former President George W. Bush, because he is a notable name, despite the fact that I’m fairly ambivalent when it comes to politics.  Jeb’s pretty well synonymous with failure and coming up short in his own right, but if there was ever anyone who has made his entire living of lifting the inadequate and carrying scrubs to victory, it would be Derek Jeter.

Ultimately, when Yeah Jeets ends up taking over the Marlins; the media can try to downplay his role in the group all they want, everyone knows that he’s the only one remotely qualified to make any sort of actual baseball decisions, it will be interesting to see what kind of owner he actually ends up becoming. 

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Good guy Aaron Hernandez?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Feeding into the whole notion that NFL Network Ocho AKA ESPN only cares about the NFL above all else, I was peeved when a good weekend of baseball, and hell even basketball was derailed by the frantic news of known asshole and murderer, Aaron Hernandez’s death.

Now I’m not going to pretend like I’ve bothered to go in-depth into all the details, because when the day is over, I couldn’t possibly give two shits about Aaron Hernandez, and at a first blush situation, I think it’s better that he’s dead, because he’s one less deadbeat that the country and its tax payers have to worry about sustaining inside of a prison, where he serves absolutely no purpose or benefit to the rest of the world.

My first thoughts were that since the death happened pretty quickly after he was somehow acquitted of the double-homicide charge that he was partially in prison for in the first place, I figured some prison guards or rogue law enforcement basically beat the guy to death, made it look like a suicide and called it a day, to prevent the guy from actually getting out of incarceration.

But this is a case where not knowing all the facts makes me look foolish, because although he was acquitted of the double-homicide, he was still going to be serving the rest of his life sentence for the supposed single-homicide that he was also accused of.

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This is what we call a disaster waiting to happen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Incentives to rush usually equals incentives for shit work: Georgia Department of Transportation offers up to a $3.1 million dollar bonus to the company responsible for repairing I-85, if they can finish everything up before Memorial Day

Look, I’m all about getting I-85 up and running as quickly as possible.  And my bad on the part of previously saying that it wasn’t going to be done until Thanksgiving, because clearly I tuned out for a little bit and missed where they thought they would get it done by June 15th instead.  Whatever though, it’s not the weekend like the sinkhole was fixed in Japan, so it’s still taking way too fucking long to fix something that should really be fixed even faster than a target date of Memorial Day weekend.

And it’s obvious why Georgia wants I-85 fixed before May 25th, because that’s Memorial Day weekend, one of the heaviest loads of expected traffic all across the nation.  Surely, the loss of I-85 is going to be extremely taxing to I-285 on both sides as people would be forced to use those roads instead of the straight shot through the city itself, which then has a trickle effect on I-20, as well as I-75.  Ironically, those actually in the city of Atlanta itself would probably benefit the most, from prepared drivers not utilizing city proper streets.

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I’d gladly take an ass-beating for a few mil

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I think that unless you’re living under a rock, most people have heard now about the United Airlines debacle where a passenger had his seat “re-accommodated” which was apparently corporate-ese for “physically removing from aircraft by means of yanking them out of seat, bashing their face into an arm rest and dragging a bloodied body away while numerous other passengers video record the whole incident and let it go viral on social media.”

Yes, it’s truly horrific that this happened, yes, United Airlines has found seemingly the worst possible combination of choices in a field of many, and yes, United Airlines is already in the fallout of a lifetime having lost at the time I’m writing this nearly $1.4 billion in lost stocks, sales, partnerships and other financial channels, with the number continuing to escalate as the saga continues.   By now, we’ve seen the videos, we’ve read the crocodile-teared apologies, and seen the endless litany of hilarious memes.  We’ve all got our opinions about United Airlines, and our own thoughts on the story that we know of.

Most are appalled by United, and probably would make a conscious effort to avoid them moving forward, and that’s completely understandable.  Lots of people feel bad for the man, basically targeted, assaulted and basically a sacrificial lamb in this captivating story; it also doesn’t help that he was a minority, although imagine how much worse would this story be if he were black?  And just about everyone by now has had a good laugh at a meme about the situation that has probably created way more awareness to the story than there would’ve been from people who simply pay attention to the news.

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