The Braves make it so easy to be right

Who would’ve thunk it?  Sandy Springs mayor outraged because Cobb County plans on utilizing Sandy Springs surface streets to direct game-day traffic onto?  Shocker of the century.  No way they should get upset over such a trivial matter!

It’s funny because when the new stadium was revealed after it’s secret planning and surprise announcement, the very, very, very, very first concern that was brought up about it’s location at the corner of I-75 and I-285 was the traffic.  The north quadrant of I-285 is already known to have the worst of the daily commuter traffic on a daily basis, and conventional thinking leads to believe that the insertion of thousands of people going to a baseball game onto the very same roads would lead to a dramatic worsening of traffic.

But it’s okay, because the Braves and a whole litany of Cobb County stiffs who arranged this whole debacle were all like “Naw, there isn’t going to be any worse traffic!  We’re going to build a bridge!  We’re going to have buses!  We’re going to expand Cobb Parkway!  We’re going to make the new park bicycle friendly!”  And other bullshit rhetoric that were attempts to dissuade the dissent over traffic reasons that wasn’t fooling anyone with a quarter of a brain.

Well, the bridge’s funding still doesn’t have any real clear-cut transparency on how it’s going to be funded.  Look out, Cobb County has six buses to transport tens of thousands of people.  Locals aren’t thrilled with the incessant construction on Cobb Parkway, and 75% of people seem to agree that riding bicycles to ScumTrust Park via the highway or six-lane roads is not a good idea.  Oh, and the ballpark has bankrupt the county’s parks budget, but that has little relevance in this topic other than the fact that I just felt like pointing that out again.

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Is this rock bottom yet?

At the time I’m writing this, the Braves are 19-46, indisputably the worst team in Major League Baseball.  They are an abysmal 8-27 at home, appropriately sending Turner Field off in a similar manner in which they negotiated the development of ScumTrust Park: pathetically.

Although Freddie Freeman just hit for the cycle, which just might be the highest point for the team as a whole all year, the Braves have been predictably putrid in just about every single facet of the game.  Forget things like hitting with runners in scoring position or pitching with inherited runners; the Braves as a team can’t hit and they can’t pitch. 

They’re on a pace to challenge history, as in the 1969 Mets that lost 120 games, a record that still stands to this day.  I originally pegged the Braves as a 100-loss team, which is what I did last year, only to fall short much to my disappointment, but this season, it seems not only all but a sure bet, but just how many games over 100 are they going to lose?

So with so much literal shit in place, it’s been difficult trying to identify where it is the Braves will have hit rock bottom; because for so many, it isn’t until a person, a team, or an entity has hit rock bottom can really the road to recover actually begin.

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Probably profit from confusion

Long story short: Coca-Cola experiencing boost in sales on light and zero-calorie soda in international markets after rolling out new can design for Coke products

My knee-jerk hypothesis is that people see all the red that saturates like 82% of these cans that they don’t realize that they’re purchasing Coke Light (Diet Coke) or Coke Zero until it’s too late, and since merchants typically don’t accept returns on opened containers, they’re just kind of boned and have to deal with it.

Maybe that was Coke’s plan all along.

Who really knows what Coke’s plan ultimately is.  There are those who think regular Coke is the devil because they’re solely counting calories.  And then there are those who think Diet and Zero are the devil because of sodium and aspartame.  This new experimental branding that has only been seen in Spain, Mexico and various parts of Europe seems to accomplishing this confusing effect that still retains each brand’s parent colors, but puts a massive Coke-red blob on all the cans.

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I hope the Braves fail here

TL;DR – Atlanta Braves fail to secure new Spring Training home for 2018 and beyond; are now banking on good faith that Disney will allow them one-year extension

As if the Braves couldn’t swindle enough people in Georgia already, apparently they’ve been trying to find a way to swindle people in Florida too.  The Braves’ agreement with the Walt Disney ESPN Wide World of Sports as official home to Atlanta Braves Spring Training home expires after the 2017 season.  And with the vast majority of the teams in the Spring Grapefruit League all having moved to areas where they’re all close to each other, the Braves would like to become one of the cool kids, and relocate to where they can be close to other teams, and not spend so much of their Spring Training time on buses or driving long distances in order to play their scrimmages, from Orlando.

Naturally, the Braves want to build a brand new facility, or rather, have a brand new facility built for them at the expense of local taxpayers, in preferably places like Palm Beach, or Sarasota, where large clusters of teams call home come Spring Training.  Hilariously, alleged talks with these regions have not progressed nearly as quickly enough for the Braves to be able to actually project where they will be training come the 2018 season.

And I hope it remains this way, and that the Braves don’t actually get another fucking sports facility built for them, because fuck more new sporting complexes.

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Some eggheads justifying what I’ve already been saying

Duh: some economics professors proclaim that Super Bowls and other stadium bullshit is actually in fact, bullshit

Do I even have to make another post about this again?  About how stadiums are bullshit, Atlanta is an unfortunate bombing ground of greed and criminals building all these stupid stadiums, and the 2019 Super Bowl is the grand daddy of greed, corruption and more fucking greed?

Nah, because coming from me, it just sounds like mindless ranting.  So it’s a good thing that some economic professors and experts have decided to chime in to basically state the obvious to those with brains: new stadiums and the events they host spout metric fucktons of rhetoric and inflated numbers of all the money that they can potentially bring, but when the days are over, only the corporations and the investors truly win out, while everyone else suffers.

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Didn’t see this coming

Not one bit.  Completely blindsided.  Never thought it possible.

Racist Park Great White Flight Field SunTrust Park, the future home of the Atlanta Braves, promised that it would not cost Cobb County residents anything (publicly) out of their pockets.  However, Cobb County has blown through its public parks budget, solely on the construction of SunTrust Park; and if Cobb residents actually want actual, useable, public parkland, a tax increase will be needed.

Yup, never would have imagined that SunTrust Park would actually fail to deliver on the promise that their construction wasn’t going to cost Cobb residents anything.  Who would’ve guessed this?

I mean, anyone who believed that SunTrust Park wasn’t going to cost residents anything also probably believe in the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.  Sure, it’s easy to say that the funding is going to come solely from hotel taxes and other means, but wherever there is a general lack of transparency, the public is going to suffer, whether they realize it or not.  Be it through some sort of tax break that inhibits the cash flow in some sort of public function, or this hilarious publicly revealed snafu of the county blowing through its parks budget and now needing to raise taxes to fulfill its financial obligation, stadium construction is pretty much one of the worst rackets ever.

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At least the Braves haven’t resorted to suing the fans . . . yet

As much as I’ve been a loud and vocal proponent for goofing on the Braves, and voicing my dissent and disapproval of ScumTrust Park, I would have to say that there still exists a team that is worse off.  Which would be the Florida Miami Marlins, who have recently been reported to be suing their fans, alleging breaches of season ticket and lease contracts on account of the Marlins failing to deliver on a multitude of promises.

Long story short, since the Marlins opened their highly criticized, publicly funded Little Havana monstrosity, there was belief (that nobody believed in) that a brand new shiny ballpark would draw packed crowds, generate boatloads of revenue, and be a fruitful opportunity to businesses that chose to invest.  But because they’re the Marlins, and Miami is Miami, which is to say the people are vapid, fair-weathered and have attention spans of narcoleptic goats, none of the beliefs have come true.

And people who were stupid enough to have faith in the Marlins, who actually sunk money into the organization, be it through season ticket contracts or business investments, have finally realized that things are not getting better, and are pulling out.  And the Marlins are suing as many of them as they can.

Sure, the Marlins certainly have legal ground to pursue these lawsuits, but from a PR standpoint, all casual viewers of the scenario are only seeing one thing: the big bad rich and powerful organization, suing the fans.

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