Lately, I’ve been a little irritable. A little bit of it has to do with daily nuisances that come with having several pets in the home, and a significantly large bit has to do with a scenario that could be really good or really bad, depending on what happens in the process. Regardless, it’s filled with the unknown, and I don’t really like too much of the unknown right in front of me.
More of it has to do with a lot of the anxiety of the unknown that stands in front of me this weekend, as I will embark on an adventure to prove my capabilities in surviving a simulated zombie apocalypse, when I challenge Run For Your Lives. I don’t know what to expect, and this concerns me, because I’m a very competitive person, and I want very much to succeed at “surviving” the run. More unknown, and it has me a little on edge.
I’ve been training diligently since I signed up back in late-July, running twice a day when I can afford it, as well as being a little more conscientious about some of my less-healthy eating indulgences. Even still, until I know what I’m up against, no amount of training is adequate, and I’m probably unprepared for what lies ahead. With a litany of obstacles and road blocks promised, on top of the zombie chasers, I don’t know what to expect.
The weather has turned unpleasant as of yesterday, and I’m concerned about it affecting the weekend. The event is rain or shine, but I’d rather it not be sucky while I’m up in Baltimore. The temperature has dropped noticeably, and it’s been raining. I’ll perform no matter the circumstances, but I can’t trust others to be in optimum health as well, and I sure as shit don’t want to get sick and get pneumonia or something running through cold rain.
This morning was a pure laugher. I went outside with the dogs, and it wasn’t raining; it was damp outside, but the concrete was dry, so all signs said it was good running conditions. I changed and left the house, but as soon as my foot touched asphalt, it began to drizzle. Drizzle isn’t enough to stop me, so I went, but mid-way through my run, it began to pour, and I had no choice but to suck it up and finish my run while getting rained on, souring my mood.
Despite being in somewhat reasonable distance in fuckingMaryland, I won’t be seeing my parents or some of my friends this weekend. By no fault of anyone else in mind, I’m kind of a solo act this weekend, and that kind of bums me out. My friend whom I was going to share a room with in Aberdeen, instead of driving for two hours to NOVA isn’t going to make it up, because he was rejected as a zombie volunteer despite having registered months before closing. Everyone I’ve asked if they would be interested in filling the vacancy has legitimate and understandable reasons why they can’t, and I’m not mad at any of them, but it really sucks knowing that I’ll be lodging by myself in Bumfuck, fuckingMaryland for two likely boring nights.
I know I’m not going to be doing this run on my own, but in a way, I am. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that the general enthusiasm for the event is way lower than I was expecting. There will be others I enjoy the company of there, but it will still be a solo act. Maybe it’s the weather, and/or maybe others are having the same anxiety of the unknown as I am having. The process in which my brother was denied participation has certainly put a black mark on my opinion of the event before it has even happened. I’m sure if I succeed and have fun, it will be the best event evar, but heading into it, I feel less enthused as I once was for it all, and it kind of irritates me. Needless to say, I just want the event to come, and I want to get it done, to put a lot of these unknowns behind me already.
