Somehow true: Portland Trail Blazers center Deandre Ayton misses game due to being unable to get to the arena on account of icy weather conditions
I’ve been following sports for pretty much all of my entire lucid life, and in all those years, this is honestly the first time that I’ve ever heard of a scenario where a player basically called out due to the weather. This is the kind of shit that a college student says when they don’t want to get up for an 8 am class, or a shitty American babysitter says when they’re checked out.
But an NBA player? Especially one who’s making $32M to play fucking basketball? Mind blown.
Like, I’m sure because he’s mega rich, he lives a little bit in seclusion, because that’s what rich people tend to like to do. And I know Portland is a weird place, in terms of people, as well as geography, and they’re kind of subject to the shitty weather conditions that afflict Seattle and the rest of the Pacific Northwest, but you’d think a go-zillionaire like an NBA player like Deandre Ayton would have some sort of contingency plan for icy roads.
Honestly, it’s not entirely on the player too, the team itself could’ve taken better preparation for this, like putting up him and other players in a baller hotel right near the arena or something if there was any indication that the weather was going to go tits up on game day.
Imagine if something like this occurred in the MJ era of the NBA? Ayton would be destroyed by a Charles Oakley type of veteran meat mountain, on his own team as well as opponent. Guys like Alonzo Mourning or Karl Malone would be all up his ass crack, giving him shit for having the audacity to miss a game due to icy roads. He must live at Castle Black or something and the Kingsroad was just too coated with northern ice or something.
Whatever though, unsurprisingly the best part of this whole situation is the backlash it’s gotten on the internet, and when people collectively get mad at something, the clowns occasionally deliver some hilarious observations. I think my favorites that I’ve seen so far are:
Pretty funny the Trail Blazers of all teams could not blaze a trail for DeAndre Ayton.
And then there was this one that is clearly familiar with Ayton’s game in general, and spun his joke to hilarious effect:
I realize Ayton couldn’t drive to the game, but perhaps he could have done several spin moves, each taking him slightly further from the rim to the game.
In all fairness though, as critical I feel towards the situation and carte blanche to criticize, I have to admit that sometimes, there’s fewer things more entertaining than the bullshit that comes from the NBA players themselves. Between the Pistons trying their best to become the de facto worst team in league history, and clowns like Ayton calling out due to black guys ice, I can’t say I’ve paid more attention to the NBA in a long time.
