I prefer to not waste writing on ‘Murican politics, but the whole thing about Mitch McConnell’s state of mortality is legit one of the funniest subplots in ‘Murica right now. I mean, I feel like it should be pretty obvious that the old white cocksucker is deader than Spirit Airlines, but he’s getting the same treatment as Hulk Hogan was getting right before it came out that he had in fact, passed away.
In one hand you have, for lack of a better term, reputable sources stating that the man is braindead, which to me is the same thing as being dead at this point, because regardless of the state of one’s heartbeat, being a vegetable ain’t really living either. But in the other hand, you have all sorts of pathetic bureaucrats all over the place claiming that they’ve spoken to ‘ol Mitch, and fabricating all sorts of agenda-driven talking points that they claimed to have discussed. Seriously, combine the time of all the supposed 20-30 minute conversations that these shitheads are claiming to have spoken with McConnell, and it’s basically a 27-hour day.
Naturally, my knee-jerk reaction that is that is a very big difference between speaking to and speaking with, and I guess it wouldn’t be lying if all these assholes are calling him up and speaking to dead air, and then claiming to have spoken to, a vegetable, which in itself is pretty funny, but like the subject of this post says, it’s also sad, because this is just continued trope of ‘Murican misinformation, lying to the people, and making shit up for no other reason than to preserve the fake-ass power dynamic that unfortunately runs the country.
Because his carcass still has a heartbeat, he still apparently holds a measure of power, and it’s the least surprising thing of all that it’s a very different scenario of dead Mitch versus when Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away, and the clusterfuck that took place in order to replace her seat with a hand-picked stooge.
I like to imagine that the GOP has a machine that’s exactly just like the Bat Syllable Device from the old Adam West Batman show, where Alfred could electronically fabricate Bruce Wayne’s voice to speak with Commissioner Gordon in the presence of actual Batman, and it came out all robotic and obviously fake, but Gordon still bit, because everyone in the show was a fucking idiot.
And even though the technology and AI exists to where it’s probably extremely easy to have an AI Mitch McConnell speak in his actual voice and tone, the GOP is so full of antequated old white fucks, that the Bat Syllable Device is still what they would have instead; and because 50.75% of ‘Murica are fucking idiots, they would believe it all the same.
Either way, sad as it is that there are still very real-life decisions, impacts and outcomes hinging on the fake-ass mortality of McConnell, it is still entertaining to see the GOP basically performing real-life Weekend at Bernies with his corpse.
Sigh. This really is ‘Murica.
