Aww, how cute. The big tatted man got 99 problems, but his bitch ain’t one of them. What a clever play on popular rap lyrics from almost a decade ago!
What’s that? The big tatted man is the Undertaker? THE Undertaker? The WWE’s legendary tough guy with the gimmick of being the partially dead undertaker Undertaker? The one professional wrestler that lived and breathed his character for nearly 25 full years, and despite the fact that it became known that wrestling was scripted, predetermined and for all intents and purposes fake, was the guy that fans and non-fans alike seemed to agree upon was “actually tough” Undertaker?
The same Undertaker that I met in an airport hotel in Cleveland, Ohio who refused to take a picture with me, but shook my hand and fulfilled a wrestling fanboy’s achievement in a way. I often assumed the anti-photos was to protect the integrity of his character save for stuff like Make-A-Wish campaign kids or something, and I didn’t think much about it because I was kind of in awe of being able to say that I met the Undertaker.
But that was in 2001. The Undertaker debuted in November 1990.
This picture of the Undertaker and his wife (also a former WWE talent, Michelle McCool) was from just a few days ago.
Needless to say, it’s been quite some time since the Undertaker had been stuffing jobbers into body bags, midcarders and fringe main-eventers into caskets, getting buried alive, summoning monks, druids and artificial lightning and thunder and hanging the Big Boss Man (also RIP), and has now settled into his apparent state of retirement.
Including taking cutesy pictures with his wife of their homemade t-shirts with their play on outdated rap lyrics.
Seriously, it’s hard to judge a guy that had been such a mainstay of one of my childhood likes, and has contributed to nearly literally over two decades of entertainment in the WWE, and has legitimately had Father Time catch up to him, but man… it’s the Undertaker.
This is a guy that grinded through nearly three full decades in the professional wrestling industry where all performers are independent contractors without full insurance, and are known to fall into addictions to pain killers, alcohol and all forms of self-destructive vices. This is a guy that was revered as so tough and respected by his peers, he was known to be the one and only locker room warden for all the other wrestlers, and stories of how “Judge (Under)Taker’s” word was law, and how everyone from the jobbers to even the biggest industry politicians respected this. This is a guy that was known for being so tough, that when he was spotted and interviewed at a live UFC event in his own recreational time, the interview was briefly interrupted by Brock Lesnar who got in his face, leading to tons of speculation of who would win in an actual fight between Lesnar and Undertaker.
He was The Phenom, The St(r)eak, The Deadman, The American Badass, Big Evil, Mr. Down With the Devil, among numerous other pseudonyms slapped onto his persona throughout the decades.
But now, after his apparent, albeit unofficial, on account of it never being formally announced, retirement, he who was once known as the Undertaker is now simply Mark Calloway.
AKA Mr. Michelle McCool, he who has 99 problems, with Michelle McCool (allegedly) not being one of them.
No, a piece of my childhood didn’t just die when I saw this, it was set on fire in an inferno match, kicked into a coffin in a casket match, and then thrown into a grave in a buried alive match, to which it was exhumed, and crucified on a satanic symbol. 🙁
