For the most part, I’m okay with what I do for a living, and whom I do it for. It’s nowhere near as cool as some of the things that my friends and acquaintances might be doing work for, but on the same token, I’ve got a degree of security and some particular perks that those same people might never have in their own respective careers.
But if there’s ever anything that lights an angry fire under my ass in an instant, is when people in a position of power attempt to make unnecessary changes to protocol for basically no other reason than that they want everyone underneath them on the organizational structure to know that they’re in a position of power.
The case in point that leads to this agitated rant is the fact that across the board is a supposed “updated” dress code that is going to become effective immediately as soon as it’s announced. The new dress code, as it pertains to men, will be that we’re supposed to wear a dress shirt with tie; on a daily basis.
A suit coat is optional, however. How very gracious.
This isn’t so much an objection because I don’t own any dress shirts or ties, and will suddenly have to go out and get them, but it’s so much the simple fact that I’m a fucking graphic designer, and it’s an occupation that’s already synonymous with people who sit around dressed like hipsters around a bunch of Apple-branded equipment with figurines on our shelves and esoteric imagery all around us.
We don’t see clients. In fact, my office is an auxiliary branch that isn’t even in the same building as the person who’s coming up with this bullshit dress code is. Nobody sees us at all, except in rare instances. Instances where we know they’re coming, and could very well prepare accordingly with our states of dress. This is not necessary on a regular basis.
Furthermore, I’m very good at my job. I never miss deadlines, I literally do more work than every designer here, and I’m faster and more accurate than everyone else. Frankly, I would appreciate if my efforts wouldn’t be hampered down with the fact that I should feel concerned about needing to dress to an unnecessary degree of decorum to do the same job I could very well accomplish without pants on.
I don’t always really like being told how I should dress or conduct myself, because as it pertains to the professional working world, I like to think I have a fairly good grasp of how all that bullshit works, and can execute without needing people to tell me how to do it, but that’s a different story for a different time.
It’s already known to not dress like a slob, and I feel that I accomplish that more than adequately. I wear slacks and non-athletic shoes on a daily basis. Occasionally, I already wear dress shirts, but in the wintertime, I’m more apt to stick with thicker sweaters and warmer clothing. Graphic designers do not need to be put in such denigrating slave clothing.
Basically, I feel that such an extreme dress code is wholly unnecessary for those who do what I do, and frankly, I think that anyone who sits in a cubicle like I do, shouldn’t be subject to such asinine standards, compared to those who have private offices and sit atop vastly higher pay grades.
Everything about this is bullshit, and it doesn’t help me feel any less infuriated than when my team was told to not bother going to the meeting it was going to be announced at, unless we already adhered to the dress code that hadn’t been announced yet. This is one of those times where I can say “I fucking hate my job” and not be so tongue-in-cheek about it.
Subsequently, I feel that this dress code is being put into place, because there was a recent change atop the organizational chart, and there’s a new person who lords over the plebeians now. And no better way to announce their presence but to make a bullshit dress code just to show the plebes that they exist.
My personal options that I contemplate are the following:
- Defy: act as if I didn’t notice the updated dress code criteria and show up to work as I have been over the last few years, which is still perfectly acceptable for 99% of all other professional working environments.
- Jericho: find every loophole and literal definition of the instructional verbiage. Want me to wear a tie? Sure, I’ll wear it around my head, or use it as a belt. There’s nowhere in the memo that states that it explicitly has to be around my neck. Or I’ll get ties with discreetly offensive artwork on it, or super tacky MUGATU piano-key ties, because there’s no mention of what kind of tie they have to be.
- 25 pieces of flair exactly: keep a token dress shirt and tie at my desk on a coat hanger in plain sight, to let others know of my slave wear to keep the massas appeased, for when they’re in the place. And a Mister Rogers sweater.
- Embrace…extremely: be like My Cousin Vinny and show up to work in a tuxedo. Every day.
Regardless of what happens in coming weeks, every time something like this occurs, it just makes me feel like I’m in the wrong kind of working environment, and I always contemplate leaving my job. Granted, I always talk myself out of it, because I’m too lazy to look for a new job, update my resume, update my resume site, and wish to go through the arduous and excruciating job searching process all over again, but the point remains, fewer things make me unhappier in the work place than when people try and tell me what to do, especially when it’s basically just bullshit.
