A year ago to this day, I asked people on theFacebook a question about where they stood on couples that sit next to each other, side-by-side, at restaurants. Personally, I think it’s a little tacky and potentially inconsiderate if the restaurant is one that is apt to get crowded. Of all the random questions I ask people on social media, this one seemed to elicit the largest pool of responses, ranging from agreement to my sentiments, and a whole lot of agitated disagreement.
Needless to say, I was greatly amused seeing this old thread on On This Day, which is pretty much my favorite component of theFacebook outright, I think.
Anyway, I decided to do a little cursory researching over the internet about this specific topic, to see what a little bit more of a mass audience felt about it. In the end, I found countless Yelp discussions, message board threads, and various opinion pieces complete with passionate commenters, on the topic, and it’s not difficult to get a generalization of the types of responses:
- It’s tacky and there’s probably some form of inappropriate groping going on.
- It’s a sweet and intimate gesture done only by those persons madly and inseparably in love. Also it leaves the door open for some form of inappropriate groping.
- Depends on the circumstances, seating situation, and if there are other people present or an objective to watch a communal television or spectacle.
- WHAT’S IT TO YOU AND WHY DO YOU CARE????? YOU ASSHOLE.
Naturally, the only one worth delving into is #4, because there’s absolutely no question that anyone who opines such or alike, are people who most definitely sit side-by-side in a 4-top at restaurants, are offended by the difference in opinion and instantaneously go on the defensive. #4s are my favorite responses to see, because there’s absolutely no room for discussion and reasoning because #4s are so blinded by offense that any conversation or online thread is immediately derailed once a #4 shows up.
The thing is, this is a topic that can be brought up with any social group, and among the responses, the aforementioned four will inevitably show up (additional groping dependent on group). Watching my theFacebook friends, and the various websites I checked, as well as a casual discussion amongst my work peers all result in the same types of responses, with few variable. Either people agree it’s weird, admit that they do it, want more context, or are immediately defensive about the inquiry at all, leading me to believe that they’re immediately guilty of being side-by-siders.
Bottom line is, this is one of those topics that has the gas in it to be surprisingly inflammatory, and when things combust, to sadists like me, they’re entertaining and amusing. Much like “are tacos sandwiches” or “what color is this dress,” people are surprisingly willing to get up in arms over their choice of seating preference at restaurants with their significant others.
